Holding the hurt.
This healing process of clearing and shifting dense emotions seemed like an uphill battle for many years. Layers upon layers were cleared, just like peeling back the layers of an onion (with lots of onion tears included), to try and get to the elusive “core issue”. At points, it sometimes felt like I was shifting the same emotion, again and again, only to have it come back periodically and flatten me.
One of my most powerful realisations is that we are actually choosing to carry these emotions around. This isn’t something that is thrust upon us with negative intent by a higher being, just to weigh us down. This, like everything else we experience, is a voluntary choice. It’s a bit like walking on a path, tripping on a rock and falling over, but then instead of feeling all of the pain and moving on, we then pick up the rock that we tripped over and put it in our backpack to carry around. If we do this with all of the rocks that we trip over, then suddenly we are carrying a backpack full of heavy, dense rocks and it becomes much more difficult and tiring to travel on our journey.
In an ideal world, we would have the experience to learn and grow, but stay in the present moment, feeling all of the feelings and understanding what they are teaching us. Then we could continue, leaving the rock where it is on the path, not only unburdened by the experience, but also much wiser for it having happened.
The choice that you make to pick up all of those heavy rocks can be made for many reasons. For some, it can be a punishment for a perceived wrong that they have committed and for others it can be because they feel that the constant reminder of the bad experience somehow makes it less likely that they will find themselves in the same position again. It can even simply be that they were not aware that they could empty the backpack of rocks onto the floor. But all of these reasons are a part of the ego and not a part of your true self.
So, the question you have to ask yourself is “why are you holding the hurt?”
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